Posted by: whatallisonsees | August 25, 2009

So what now.

The age old question I’ve been struggling with for about 15 of my years.now_watch

So. What. NOW.

I’m am desperate for an answer – something to help me feel like I am doing what I can. But I’m at a loss. I always am. I know about it – I have experienced it – I’ve seen and heard it. But now I’m back where it is FAR away. Far enough away, it is as if it doesn’t exist. Almost like it is set up like that purposefully – so that I can walk around each day and pretend like I never knew, saw or heard it.

I just finished watching Blood Diamond and have the same guttural upheaval as I did after Slumdog Millionaire and every time I am leaving Mexico or an inner city.  My heart pours out for these people. I have such intense compassion and desire for their lives to experience safety and love and security and hope. But I always leave. I come back. Here. And I don’t know what to do.

I cannot live comfortably here when they are not living comfortably there.

I know I am in the right place for now. God has shown me this. But God loves struggling Africans amidst civil wars, and children of drug dealers, and Mexicans forced to live in slums. Somehow, God has given me love for them, too – but I don’t know what to do with it. Sending money isn’t the answer, although I do a bit, visiting is only temporary, and moving permanently there is not right for me, at least now.

So. Tell me. How do I live here but still do something to help them. Not living ignorantly every day, unaware of their pain and loss.  I have to resolve this. I can pray for them and I can continue to research and learn to inform myself and so that I can inform others – but there has to be something else.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: