Posted by: whatallisonsees | July 4, 2009

My Final Minutes…

It was unexpected.

I thought I would feel wholly depressed and sad about leaving a company that moved me a country away from my friends and family to a place where I knew not a sole, a company where I had devoted my time, my stress, my passion and emotion for the last three years of my life, a company where I had made tremendous friendships, and a company that I honestly care for and desire to see successful.  But that’s not really how I felt. I wasn’t sad. I wasn’t even tearing up.

I was somber.  Even though I’ve never had a break up, I imagine it felt quite like it would to date someone for a really long time, long enough to where you became more best friends than lovers and mutually decided to break up because it was the right time and the right thing for both of you. That’s how it felt… like a mutually agreed upon breakup.

It was 7:25pm on Thursday and the office was vacant since it was the night before a 3 day weekend, most people clear out early in the afternoon. Yet, I was there cleaning out my laptop and packing up my desk.  I ran into a friend late as I was leaving and it was good to say goodbye to him.  As I was rolling my boxes away, I stopped.  My desk looked so empty, so lack luster, so dead. It was hard to see it like that. Like I had come and so easily gone and it never made a difference. I know that’s not true – I know I had impact, but looking at it like that… It made me realize how important eternal impact is over the worldly kind. Treasure in the office or at my home or at the mall.  It is all so fleeting.

So I kept rolling, out to the atrium. I stood there for a second, partly glad I was so alone. It allowed me to say goodbye without feeling silly or someone catching me.  With exception of our security guard tip typing away at the front desk and the janitor’s swooshing of the carpet cleaner, the building was solemn. Almost dark with only the sky lights dimly shining in, it was so calm. So opposite from how I had always experienced it.  It felt good to go.  I had come here for a purpose which was shared with me was complete and even though I put so much of my heart and passion into this building and its inhabitants, it was now time for me to leave. And so I did.  I didn’t look back and I haven’t regretted it.  God has a plan for me. As long as I continue to trust him and forever embrace everything He puts in front of me, greatness is all that will come. God, I pray I can remain faithful.

Now, I just look forward to being totally packed and all my logistical details being made complete so that I can be in my car (Guy) and headed west with freedom and joy.

My desk after it was stripped of everything that gave it life. Those grey walls make me cringe!!

My desk after it was stripped of everything that gave it life. Those grey walls make me cringe!!

My things as I rolled away from the office. This sums up 3 years.

My things as I rolled away from the office. This sums up 3 years.

The hole where my name used to go. I went to check my mail one last time, and saw that earlier that afternoon, they had already taken action to remove me from their lists.

The hole where my name used to go. I went to check my mail one last time, and saw that earlier that afternoon, they had already taken action to remove me from their lists.

OfficeMax on a vacant Thusday night at 7:30pm

OfficeMax on a vacant Thusday night at 7:30pm

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Responses

  1. allison, that is one of the most moving things I have ever read where OfficeMax is concerned.

    Not sure if you received my last note but best of luck to you and I can’t wait to read about your adventure. You are an amazing writer.

    Have fun and never look back.

    Katrina

    • Katrina – I can’t tell you how flattered I am by your comment. Really – thanks so much. I have surprisingly really enjoyed writing the blog. I hope your week goes well!


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