Posted by: whatallisonsees | June 22, 2009

Hind Sight is 20/10

A Disclaimer: I have been thinking quite a bit about this blog and how much of my faith I should allow in it. I want it to be truthful to who I am, yet I don’t want to discourage any readers that do not have the same faith in God that I do. So, I have decided to remain genuine, I will write every once in a while if it pertains to my blog about my relationship with God, but it will not be a focus, nor something from which I will specifically deter.

hindsight man

What a gift. What a perfect, comforting, the-world-can-make-sense-again gift is hindsight! And I don’t think it’s 20/20 because that is just status quo, the standard, if you will. I think its better than that because its not a standard thing.  It feels more like an epiphany or a special insight that has bee

n given by God. Nothing is usual or standard about that.

I’ve been on the defense.

Since I started working through my decision to uproot my life and quit my job for this adventure, I was dealing with a lot of internal turmoil. I had mixed feelings of an extreme desire to keep what it safe and expected with an equally opposing desire to pursue my passion for the outdoors and rock climbing and figuring out where that could take me.  So since I was being quite hard on myself, any comment or question that I felt was aimed at talking me out of it, I responded very abruptly and defensively.

I thought I had to… for self-preservation.

At least I needed a front of confidence – otherwise how would I get through it.  Now, I have actual confidence – I KNOW this is what I am supposed to do and I CANNOT WAIT TO GET STARTED!  What led me to this place of total confidence was a conversation I had with someone very close to me that straight up communicated an opinion of my stupidity for doing this. Quitting my job “in this economy” to go have fun, etc. etc. How could God want that for you!?  Um, last time I checked, God super loves His children and wants them to enjoy the world He created and to use the gifts and skills He gave them. That’s what I am doing. And it came.

My 20/10 Hind Sight.

I had complete conviction when I explained that all of this... All of the security. The consistent pay check that allowed me exposable income. The good job with the great company. The significant responsibility. The people that respect me. Everything that got me to this place – I received it all from God. I worked hard. I tried even harder – but to Him be the glory for all of it. So now that we have a less than desirable economy, is He stuck – will He forsake me? Nope – He doesn’t really work that way.  When I come back to look for a job, when ever that is, He will provide again. It might not all add up to same total, but the equation will be the same. I’ll have a job. I’ll have a paycheck. And, it will be what He wants for me then. Maybe less money, maybe more responsibility. I don’t know.

It feels SO good to know this to be true. But maybe I needed to be defied, I needed the pushback – so that I could become this confident. I am doing something scary and risky. Maybe God gave me these obstacles so that I would be forced to have total clarity. My 20/10 hindsight.

Just a thought.

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Responses

  1. Allison, Very interesting perspective. I don’t really believe in God myself, but appreciate your perspective. I am glad that you are content in your belief and right on, sister! Way to stand up for it!

  2. I’m really late in responding to this. It’s so true that God does want what’s best for us. He will provide when the time comes. Until then, enjoy the ride! (or the climb. hehe)

    • Thanks so much DeMo! I will for sure enjoy the ride and try to get used to this new lifestyle of not reporting to the office… weird! Kim – So glad to hear from you. Thanks a ton for your encouragement and I really appreciate you checking out the site. Nice to know someone is reading what I am writing!

  3. Allison, even though I didn’t know you that well, It doesn’t surprise me of your faithfulness and total belief in God. I can see it in your deameanor. I too am a believer in ALL that is GOD. We have to walk by faith and not by site and that is what you have choosen to do. I wish you much success on your endeavors and your travels AND I will be praying for you constantly. Please be safe and listen for God’s word and direction.

    God Bless,
    Kim Warren


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